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The joy of small talk

During summer vacation during college, I spent a few summers working at the Lowe’s in my hometown. While home improvement is not a passion of mine, the pay was decent, I liked my coworkers, and I generally enjoyed working with customers, often making small talk about the weather, home projects they were working on, etc. Making small talk has always been pretty easy for me… until I moved to Japan and could no longer speak the language. 


There are not many foreigners in Mito, and it sometimes feels like my presence makes store workers nervous that I might need help and not understand them or nervous they might have to speak English. And at the beginning of my time here, those sorts of interactions also made me nervous. I remember times when I wouldn’t understand what a cashier was saying and feeling so bad. I worked at memorizing the questions they might ask me in Japanese (“Do you want a bag?” or “Do you want it warmed up?”) and the appropriate answers. 


I can remember when checking out at my local convenience store or grocery store stopped making me anxious. It felt like a victory. And now checking out is so easy. If I have any questions or problems, I know I can easily ask for help and figure it out. Small talk is still not a part of these interactions generally. But recently, it's been happening more frequently, and I want to share some experiences with you.


I visit my local bicycle shop a few times a year if I have a flat tire or need to renew my bike insurance. When I first started going there (using a lot of Google Translate), I remember how I felt and how the owner seemed to feel during the interactions (nervous). But as my language skills grew, these interactions became so much more relaxed. It felt so good when the owner greeted me with a genuine smile instead of nerves. And on my most recent visit, while we were filling out the insurance forms, we made small talk about baseball and Shohei Ohtani, the Dodgers’ player who is so beloved by the Japanese people. Afterwards, I was so happy. Being able to make these connections brings me so much joy!


Right down the block from my apartment is a discount drug store (picture a Walgreens-like store) that I visit often. There are many workers, and I started to recognize the ones who often work during the times I go. I always give a smile when entering the store or checking out, but besides that, the interactions are limited to the typical cashier questions. However, earlier this week one of the cashiers commented on the heat. This seems so little but it stood out to me, and not only because I knew the appropriate response. It means that she felt comfortable going outside of the normal script that the cashiers usually hold with me. And it makes me think that I should try small talk in Japanese with cashiers and see what the response is. 


Today, I went to a motorbike shop to buy a helmet for the moped that I will soon buy. I was feeling nervous. I’ve never had to buy this type of helmet before, and while I did some research online, I wasn’t sure if I had all the necessary knowledge to make the choice or knew the vocabulary in Japanese. After I browsed for a while, I needed to ask a shop worker for help. I had no idea what size helmet I needed or if I could try them on. She was so kind and helpful, measuring my head, trying to use simpler Japanese words when I couldn’t understand, repeating phrases, pausing to see if I understood, and so on. Then once I had decided on the helmet, while she was explaining how to clean and maintain the helmet, we started small talking - about the moped I would buy, where I would drive, my work, where I was from. She shared about her homestay experience in Florida when she was younger. She even asked me to come back once I had my moped to show her as well as to come back if I had any questions or problems with my helmet (and she even gave me a discount!). The Japanese people are generally polite and kind, but this was so much more!


These sorts of experiences make me realize how far my Japanese skills have come in the past two and a half years (as well as how far I have to go!). It also reminds that these interactions can turn someone’s day around, just like they do for me. Being kind is so easy. Whether you’re smiling at your grocery store clerk or asking the gas station cashier how they are (and meaning it), I think these are simple ways as a Christian to reflect Him into the world. God cares about them, and so do you.  


Annalisa Schuette



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